Taoism - Shit happens.
Confucianism - Confucius says, shit happens.
Buddhism - If shit happens, it isn't really shit.
Zen - What is the sound of shit happening?
Hinduism - This shit happened before.
Islam - If shit happens, it is the will of Allah.
Protestantism- Let shit happen to someone else.
Catholicism - If shit happens, you deserve it.
Southern Baptist- I may be responsible for this shit but Jesus is going to take the rap for it.
Native American - The white man started this shit, but we're gonna finish it.
Judaism - Why does this shit always happen to us?
Gnosticism - This shit didn't happen this way
Agnosticism - What is this shit?
Atheism - I don't believe this shit.
Wicca - This shit is happening as a result of continued persecution from The Burning Times
VooDoo - This shit may happen, but I can make it happen better
Santeria - This shit happened because i didn't kill enough chickens
Norse - This shit is happening, aren't you enough of a worthy warrior to take it?
Greek - Shit may be happening, but at least Zeus doesn't take up the lightning bolts
Celtic - This shit is happening because the Norse didn't want to live on their land
Tantric - This shit is happening, let's go get laid =========================================